Frustrations and Realizations

Being in a country where you know very little of the language is quite frustrating.  Many of the signs I can't read because they're covered in kanji, and the ones I can read in hiragana and katakana I don't know what they mean.  Shopping is embarrassing because the most I can say to the cashier is hello but I can't understand anything they say to me that isn't the total of my purchase so I just nod and make affirmation noises like I know what they're talking about.  I attended a meeting at church where I could barely follow along based on the Engrish and a few Japanese words, and the one lady who could speak English would only give me the basic premise of the conversation every once in a while.  I got lost on my way to the store once but didn't want to ask for directions because I knew I wouldn't know what they were saying.

But although I am constantly frustrated I believe that the frustration will push me to learn more.  I want to be able to read basic street signs.  I want to understand the cashiers.  I want to understand what's going on in meetings.  I want to be able to take directions.  I want to know more Japanese, and since I am in Japan I cannot give up when it gets hard.  I can't throw in the towel and focus on something else because the reality is that no matter where I go there will be Japanese.  My sensei or the church translator can't follow me around to let me know what's happening.  If I really want to live and work in Japan one day I'm going to have to do it on my own.  It's a scary prospect but I must get over my fear of the unknown.

Japan is a whole new country full of different food and places worth exploring, and if I'm to have a proper adventure in the land of the rising sun I'm going to have to "buck up mister" and "put [this] big brain of [mine] to work."  I'm not going to learn Japanese by beating myself up over my current lack of knowledge. That's almost the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

My Pilgrimage to Mecca

Thoughts in the Columbus Airport
Sleep?  Who needs sleep when you're about to take the trip you've only dreamed about for as long as you can remember.  Sure, travel sites suggest a good nights rest before a long haul flight, but that's what the flight is for, right?  So what did this traveler do before embarking on her hour journey?  I stayed up all night, still packing, still making sure everything was in order, still calming my nerves and not eating so that I wouldn't barf when the inevitable nausea would set in from the excitement of traveling to Japan.

We started out on the road to the airport around three to the sounds of Weird Al's album "Straight Outta Lynwood".  My mom said it would calm my nerves, and I sang along to all the songs I knew by heart to little effect.  I was still feeling anxious.  I knew that these feelings wouldn't go away so easily.  I am making the longest and farthest trip away from home (university excluded) in my 21 years of life.  It's one thing to travel to Grand Cayman where everyone speaks English, all the food is familiar, and I'm traveling with a large group of my friends.  It's another to travel half way around the world to another time zone, another country, and another culture.  Sure, it's the place I've been dreaming about visiting but it is still a massive change.

After the Journey
After many hours of sitting/napping in planes and wandering around airports, I finally made it to my mecca: Japan.  I stepped off the plane relieved that I had made it all in one piece, passed through immigration like a pro and headed down stairs to baggage claim to wait for my luggage. 

And wait. 

And wait. 

 And wait. 

My luggage never made its way down the black belt of shame and I just stood there dumbfounded like the others who were missing bags.  One of my fears had come true.  I was without bags all the way in Japan.  Fortunately I was smart enough to pack a change of clothes, my toothbrush, toothpaste, and deodorant in my carry on along with a small washcloth and a small bottle of body wash.  This way I can at least be clean tomorrow.  I can only hope that my bags get here by tomorrow or at least Friday.

Other than that setback, everything seems to be going well.  I've got an apartment to myself because there aren't any other girls this summer (I'll post about it later) and the guys seem nice, so it should be fun.  My adventures in the land of the rising sun have only just begun!

Yatta! and Feelings of Excitement and Nervousness

As of yesterday I have a ticket to Japan and all the money I need for tuition thanks to the gracious donations from my family.  I love them ever so much.  Now that everything is underway I keep thinking of things I'm going to need or things to look up.  For instance, I looked up the average temperature while I'll be in Japan (The high is 80), and I'm also thinking about getting a plug converter.

Other than things I'll need I also have feelings of excitement and nervousness.  I've never been so far out of the country before.  Sure, I've been to Grand Cayman where I had to go through customs/immigration, but that's not that far away.  Japan is half a world away with a 11/12 hour time difference.  Not only that but I'll have to ride on a huge international plane for nine hours.  I've never been in a plane, in a confined space that long before and it makes me a little nervous.

What also makes me nervous is the Narita Airport.  I'm afraid that when I get there I won't understand what people, specifically airport personnel, are saying to me.  What if I need to know something important but I don't understand.  What if I get lots in the airport trying to find my way out of the terminal.  What if I spend so much time in customs that I miss Mr. Mineyama, my program coordinator.  Maybe I worry too much and I'm fearful for no reason, but I can't help but worry.  This is going to be a long trip and I have a lot of things to think about and a lot of stuff to do to be physically and mentally prepared.  I've been waiting for this moment for as long as I can remember and it's going to be one heck of a ride.

Disappointment and Hope

"Dear Gilman Scholarship Applicant:

Thank you for your application to the Benjamin A. Gilman International Scholarship Program.  The screening process for the Summer 2012 scholarship cycle has now concluded.  During the Summer 2012 application cycle, the Gilman Scholarship Program reviewed more than 2,600 applications for over 500 awards.  This was a very competitive application cycle.

All applications have been reviewed.  Unfortunately, you were not selected to receive a Gilman Scholarship.  We applaud your decision to study abroad and wish you the best with your international experience.   For other possible study abroad scholarship opportunities..."

 Despite this setback, things are coming along okay.  I've still got one scholarship to hear back from, I'm slowly getting more money for tuition thanks to various family members and my grandpa is letting me use his frequent flyer miles.  Still, it was quite upsetting to read the rejection e-mail from the Gilman Scholarship people and it still  kindda is.  But, I'll get over it eventually, and if I can't make it to Japan this summer there's always next summer.  However, I must not think in the negative.  I have to believe that I can make it this summer.  It's the moment that I've been waiting for for as long as I can remember.  I will go to Japan.

Gilman Scholarship

So, I've officially applied for the Gilman Scholarship and I'm so nervous!  I totally dropped the ball and didn't put on my calendar when the due date for that application was.  So, when I went to check and saw it was three days away I freaked out.  It was the only thing I could think of for those three days up until the night it was due.  I was writing my essays like a mad woman and I payed extra to get my transcript the next day.  Then when I submitted it I was still nervous because I knew if I had payed closer attention I would have had more time and could have written better essays.  But, now it's all out of my hands.  I just have to wait until the end of April to see if I'm awarded the scholarship.  Until then, I'll be waiting for the Global Scholars application to open up.  I made sure to put that on my calendar.  I will be more prepared for this scholarship, that's for sure.  I don't like feeling stressed.